R1 P3 Day 4

So today turned out okay. Well, it turned out better than I thought it would. I weighed in at -0.5 lbs this morning. Considering the fact that I had a smoothie and whatever else, I think that is great. It puts me at only half a pound over my LDW. Today I don't remember all that I ate because instead of eating meals, I kind of just snacked all day long. I did have dinner, but I found there was nothing that I wanted to cook so I had to go shopping today.

This morning I had an apple as usual. I hate to admit it, but I ate some cheese this afternoon. Instead of just slicing it and eating it, I melted it in the microwave and ate it that way. I had the hardest time staying awake all day today even though I got a good amount of sleep last night. I finished off my cauliflower which only amounted to about 3 pieces. I had a piece of leftover roast with a little salsa for lunch, and for dinner tonight, I had a steak with raw tomatoes. I did forget myself again and had 3 glasses of orange juice. It wasn't until after the first glass that I remembered that oranges are not a phase 3 food. But frankly, I didn't care. It really hit the spot and got rid of some cravings I was having. I hope it doesn't affect me negatively tomorrow. I am still exhausted and I was hoping to go to bed early tonight but that isn't going to happen. I had some laundry to fold and I put another load in the washer and now it's 9:30. I still have things I want to do but I think I may have to for go them until another day. I am so tired. I need to drink some water to hydrate myself so I may just stay up long enough to do that. I am getting used to no bread but I would really like to have some rice. If I could have rice, eating would seem normal to me. I think I can do without the bread but rice has been a struggle for me. Oh, I almost forgot, I bought some nuts to snack on and I had a small handful of salted roasted almonds. I am going to have to go back over the list but I hope they are okay to eat during phase 3. I've noticed a lot of phase three recipes have almond flour and other non-glutinous flours on them. I wonder about them though.

R1 P3 Day 3

Today has sucked so far. I came in at +1.5 lbs this morning. i don't know if I ate too much or if it's what I ate or if it's because I just started my monthly. I hope it is due to the last. Technically, I'm only one pound above my LDW but it still feels like a lot. I had an apple this morning, a 3 egg omelet with cheese and peppers topped with salsa, and for lunch I had cauliflower covered with cheese and hot sauce. That was good. Maybe I'm eating too much cheese. That is one of my downfalls. At the rate I'm going, I feel a steak day coming on. I haven't been drinking enough water and I'm sure that doesn't help. I hope this all works out that I can at least maintain if not lose more. I need to keep the water weight off at the very least. Hopefully I can do that.

Later...
Totally messed up today. I had roast with a lettuce salad and a little bit of balsamic on top. Then, tonight I went on a date with The Man and we had Jamba juice. I wasn't thinking and ended up ordering something that had sherbet in it and I got a major sugar load! Tonight I am retaining water in my ankles and I feel bloated. Not a good sign for tomorrow. Commence the praying. I feel a steak day coming on.

R1 P3 Day 2

This morning, I came in at -0.5 lbs. I was back down to my lowest weight. It was awesome considering the fact that I went out to dinner and had carrots on accident. Who knows what tomorrow will bring. This morning I had an apple with a cheese and red bell pepper 3 egg omelet. I went about my day and for lunch I tried the cauliflower crust pizza. It was just eh. I probably didn't make it right but oh well. I put chicken and red bell peppers on it. I ate it all and there was a ton of it. I didn't eat it all at one sitting but it felt like it. I had a late dinner of cottage cheese and one two slices of pastrami wrapped in a bunch of lettuce. I am stuffed! I am so tired and ornery these days. I don't know if I'm just tired or still having reactions to the HCG. I really just need a vacation from life. But that is never going to happen. I probably don't want it to either. Here's hoping for a good tomorrow.

R1 P3 Day 1

So the first day of my phase 3 I gained back the 0.5 lbs but I'm okay with that. I would prefer to go down if anything but half a pound is okay. I finished my 72 hrs around 11:45 this morning and even though I had my first "cheat" this morning, (a slice of pepperoni covered with cheese--not pizza, just one pepperoni) I was feeling okay. But today may not have turned out how I hoped. I had an apple this morning and then cottage cheese and eggs with hot sauce for lunch. I had another apple later and a spoonful of cottage cheese. I snacked on some cauliflower with ranch dip (ranch seasoning with Fage plain greek yogurt). For dinner I went out to eat for the first time in over a month with my friend. I had a 9 oz steak with vegetables. I subbed the potato for vegetables. The one thing I forgot was that I couldn't eat carrots and I did. First mistake. Really? Anyway, I really felt it because I finished all my steak and about 75% of my vegetables. My stomach started to feel upset after that. I don't know if my steak wasn't cooked well enough because I ordered it Med rare or what but my stomach has been giving me trouble since. It feels gassy and bloated. I am not sure if I just ate too much or bad foods or who knows what. Ugh! I guess I'll find out in the morning. I weighed myself before I got into the shower tonight and I hadn't gained any weight but I don't think that is going to hold up. I hope all is well in the morning.

R1 Day 33

Redemption! I am back down the 0.5 lbs that I gained yesterday. I even ate more yesterday and I did okay. I guess if I think about it, I really just had an extra apple yesterday. Today may be the same story though. This morning I had a large apple and later I had strawberries because I was pretty hungry. Lunch was fish and tomatoes, and later, another apple. I had serious munchies today so I had a melba toast and then decided that I should just make dinner. I had Chicken and cabbage ( my fave) again and then felt better. But, I had another apple this evening. So, all in all, I doubled my fruit allowance for the day and I had a melba toast. Today was probably not the day to eat the toast but I seriously have the munchies. I also have a headache and I think my cycle will start any day now. I hope that tomorrow brings better news because right now I'm not feeling it. On the bright side, I can eat more food tomorrow. I already have things planned to eat. I don't know how to work this because if I have to stay on the 500 calorie thing until 11:00 or 12:00, it will change how many calories I have for the day. I guess I should have thought that out better rather than flying by the seat of my pants. I'll try to do the best that I can from here on out. I hope this sticks!

R1 Day 32

So this morning sucked. I gained back 0.5 lbs. It's probably because I didn't drink and I'm retaining. I'm almost sure of it. Today may have been a bust also. I don't know but at the rate I'm going, I'll have to do a steak day the first day in phase 3! Not that I mind steak, I could just do without the extra poundage. I hope tomorrow is better but considering the fact that I ate an apple this morning, fish and onions for lunch, another apple, dinner was chicken and cabbage (one of my favorites), and then because I was probably thirsty, I ate another apple. I almost had a melba toast but I didn't. I had some green tea this evening which, I don't actually like. I was looking for another tea but I think I threw it away. I have been feeling like I need to have a BM but nothing seems to come but gas. It doesn't smell, it's just air.

Well, I guess it hasn't all been for naught. The Man did say the nicest thing to me today before he left for work. He said, "Have you lost weight? Because you look like you have." At least somebody noticed. Finally! And it was him! That's the best!

R1 Day 31

So this morning I came in with no change in weight. Because of that, I have decided to switch over to phase 3 of the protocol instead of doing another apple day. Though I would like to lose a few more pounds this round, I think it will be at the expense of doing 3 more apple days in order to get me there. I don't think it should be that way. So I decided that I'll just move on to phase 3. I took my last dose of HCG at approximately 11:00 am this morning but I'm not entirely sure so I thought I would begin phase 3 at noon on Wednesday. Hopefully I'll be successful at stabilizing so that I can either do another round and get to my goal weight or exercise my butt off. Literally. I didn't have anything this morning as it was a lazy morning. For lunch I had fish, onions, and an orange. I felt so hungry that I had a melba toast for a snack. Dinner came early with a teriyaki beef salad. I'll have an apple later if I get hungry. And that will be it for my day. I don't know if the HCG really made that much of a difference as far as curbing my hunger but I'm sure I'll find out. So at the end of my doses, I lost a total of 19.5 lbs during this round. I don't really feel like I lost any measurable inches. I am hoping that I just don't notice it yet but maybe later.

R1 Day 30

To continue or not to continue...That is the question. This morning was not terrible. I weighed in at -0.5 lbs even considering the fact that I had little sleep. I guess I didn't really have little sleep, it just felt like it. I have reached the point where I don't know what to do. I have been successful in part because The Man has been out of town on business so there were no "fast food" fixes that I had to turn down, no eating out, and frankly, not much cooking. I don't mind cooking, I just have a hard time cooking when I can't taste the food to see if it is done or spiced right or if the flavors work. Not being able to mix foods, not being able to eat certain foods, and not being able to eat oil really hinders that aspect of cooking. I don't think my family would like it especially if I told them they were going to eat some of the food I have been eating. Not that my food was bad, it just wasn't what they are used to. So now, what do I do? I think I can continue on for a few more days without causing a problem but after that, I don't know. I want to keep going for the rest of my forty days just to see if I can lose more. I am just shy of 20 pounds right now and would love it if I could actually lose something more like 30. But I am a realist and know that with my current record, that is not happening. But even five more pounds would be great. To be down 25 pounds right now, I could handle that. I've decided that after I move on to phase 3 I am going to start muscle building to tone up my stomach and, well, body. I would like to like my body someday and I hope this is going to get me the jump start that I need.

Today I had an apple, a really late lunch of fish and cucumbers, and I was hungry so I had another apple which half I ate raw and the other half I nuked with cinnamon. As for dinner, I had chicken and tomatoes. I am trying to get my water in today but every time I drink water, I freeze. I don't quite understand it. I took some herbs this evening to try to help things "move along" because nothing has been happening with that respect for the past couple of days. I am wondering if my bowels being sluggish has affected any loss that I might have had. Who knows. I have read about people taking vitamin B12 shots or some sort of vitamin B shot while doing this diet and with all my research, I've never looked into why they do that. I will remedy that situation tonight.

R1 Day 29

Wow! It's already day 29! Hard to believe really. Well, I think my dinner last night really did me in. The meat was rather fatty and so the scale did not change. I also did not get enough sleep as my oldest went to see the midnight showing of a movie and I had two sickies at home. One of which kept waking up. Combine that with the fact that I was "waiting up" for my oldest to get home and you have pretty much no sleep. Today may be no different either. But, I am going to try to go to bed early because I am exhausted. If I am lucky enough to get in a nap that will be wonderful but I have a lot of house cleaning to do today and no motivation to do it. We'll see what happens. I still have no change in inches again. At least nothing that I've been able to find. Clothes are still as tight and such.

Food for the day consisted of an orange, camomile tea, fish with tomatoes, another apple, and a chicken salad. I am very tempted to eat a melba toast. I don't know if I will or not. I have been super hungry lately. I don't know what the deal is. It's really only at the times when I would be eating that I am hungry. Even though I finished dinner tonight at about 5:30, I don't anticipate being hungry for the rest of the night. If I am, I will take some more drops. Tonight will be another late night for me. I really need to catch up on sleep. I'll be playing it by ear as to how long I keep going. If I don't lose tomorrow, I may do an apple day just for good measure and then possibly finish out this round. I hope is works out, though. I want to at least lose 20 pounds. I'm so close. If I could lose more, that would be great. I'm almost down to the weight on my driver's license. How's that for lying. He, he, he.

R1 Day 28

Surprise, surprise! I weighed in at -1 lb this morning! It seems like forever since I had a loss twice in a row. I am only about 21 pounds away from my goal weight. My BMI is now 23.7 and I still look the same. No real change to speak of as far as inches go. I am hoping that I can do this for the forty days but my situation has changed so I don't know if I'll be able to keep it up. I don't want to sabotage myself with bad behaviors right out of the gate. I am trying to plan my life around all this but things will be different from here on out. My situation has been thus that it has been easy for me to keep up with the protocol but now it will get harder even if it is just for another 10 days or so. I want this to work out!

For breakfast I had an apple, lunch was tilapia and cucumbers, another apple for a snack, and beef with onions for dinner. I think the beef might come back to haunt me as it was kind of fatty. The meat was so marbled that I couldn't do anything about it. Normally I look for that but when I don't want it, that is all I can find of course. I am probably going to try to cut back on the beef anyway. It doesn't really like me. It makes me lethargic. I haven't really found all the energy that people say occurs with this diet. If anything, I am tired all the time. I don't know if I'm a little depressed, if it's hormones or if it's the diet. Who knows? I really hope that it doesn't affect me but with my luck, it will. I guess I'll keep my expectations low again for tomorrow. I actually feel kind of sick. I don't know if I'm hungry or if I ate something bad. I think I'm hungry.

R1 Day 27

So far my apple day is about the same as last time. This morning I weighed in at -1.5 lbs which is good. I went down to the next weight range of ten so maybe if I can actually lose weight for the next couple of days then I'll consider doing a full forty days or 34 pounds. I doubt that I'll get to 34 pounds but I know I can do 40 days. If I could lose 30 pounds on this round I think I would try and do the rest through diet and exercise alone. Now that I have less fat, or so I'm supposed to, I can start working on seeing my ab muscles and such. I still have a lot to lose though and frankly, I haven't changed clothing sizes at all so I still doubt that I have lost that much. I hope that the loss that I have from my apple day continues on from here. I don't want to gain any of it back. I still have one or two more apples to eat this morning so we'll see how it goes for tomorrow. Fingers crossed!

So for today, I finished off my apple day with a large apple this morning, and then for lunch I had tilapia with tomatoes. I had another apple today between lunch and dinner and then had a chicken salad for dinner. I drank probably 88 oz of water I guess and finished off my day with one melba toast because for some reason I was really hungry tonight. I really should just start taking another dose of HCG rather than eat something...hmmm...next time. I am hoping that tomorrow won't be a gain. That will really make me mad. I don't want to have to do another apple day again. This time around it didn't affect me as much as it did last time. I really only had one BM whereas last time I had three. I'm sure you didn't want to hear that. Anyway, I am looking forward to phase 3 and have been checking out what foods I can eat on it plus recipes. Probably not the best idea since it kind of makes me hungry. I am still having bread cravings and it is all I can do not to eat some bread. I can smell it. It is calling to me and I have to remind myself that bread will not be happening for a while. Another day down I guess. It's hard to believe that I've been on this diet almost a month. It's also hard to deal with the fact that I feel like I look the same. My ankles and feet are thinner. Yay. I really wish now, that I'd had the guts to take before and after pics so I could hopefully see a change because my clothes don't fit any different where it counts. Well, as far as I can see.

R1 Day 26

I don't know what I am thinking. I had no loss again today so I am doing an apple day and I hate them! I don't know why I do this to myself. I haven't been on HCG long enough to become immune to it I would think but it doesn't seem to be working for me. I had planned on doing at least a 30 day run but I'm at the point now where I just want to move on to phase 3. It seems like a waste of drops though. I know this stuff wasn't extremely expensive but I hate to waste. I had even convinced myself that I would do a 40 day run and that seems unlikely now too. I keep making things that I really want to eat right now and it's killing me! It isn't chocolate or sweets that I want, I want bread! And I keep thinking about how I can't even attempt it for at least another 3 weeks! I can't let this beat me, though. I am going to hold out for the 30 days of drops and then do my 72 hrs of VLCD and then move on to phase 3 in about 10 days. I think I can hold out for that long. Then it will just be a test of whether or not I can figure out the proper thing to eat from then on. I don't think I'll have a problem doing a steak day but this apple thing is killing me. I find it really weird because I really like apples. I hope to at least get down to the next range of 10 weight-wise because I'm right there on the cusp. It would be nice to be just that much closer to my goal weight. Then, When I wait my allotted time I will only have another 20 or so pounds to lose and if I only lose 17 pounds then, I won't be so butt hurt. I will have to work on building muscle from here on out because I didn't really lose any inches at all. If I did, they aren't in any place that I measured. I think I lost some on my ankles. Maybe my fingers. Really? Those weren't really the places I was so inclined to lose. Not that I mind, but I was really hoping to lose a muffin top or some inches off my hips or arms. That would be nice. Perhaps next time. Or maybe when I start doing ab exercises.

R1 Day 25

I think I got my hopes up this morning and I gained 0.5 lbs. I don't know why I do this to myself. I am even considering doing a 40 day round instead of 30 because I think my schedule will permit it. Really, though? This is seriously frustrating!

Today has been another interesting day for me. I had a faux apple pie this morning. It would have been much better had Thing 1 not used up all my cinnamon. It was followed by tilapia with asparagus for lunch, another apple, and chicken with broth and most of a cucumber. I just couldn't eat another bite. I was so stuffed. I know I said that I couldn't/wouldn't do fish but I was hoping that this might make a change for me.

One thing about this diet that I am glad of, I am noticing when I am full and trying to stop if not stopping. It's a good thing. I think that is how I got into this mess. I have no hopes for tomorrow either, I just really hope that I don't gain. That would mean that I'm doing another apple day. I didn't get in nearly enough water again. Thing 3 has been throwing up this weekend so it was a day of chasing kids around with a bowl. Yuck! I really need to make drinking water a priority. I think it would make such a difference for me. I tried to get extra sleep last night but I woke up at 2:00 am freezing in my bed and I just couldn't get warm. I finally had to pull on another blanket before I could sleep. That didn't help as I was shivering for a good half hour. So much for a good night's rest. Maybe tonight?

R1 Day 24

This protocol is exasperating! I had all but given up and had decided to just finish out my time to try to make what I've done stick and this morning I had totally expected to gain or stay the same and I lost. I lost 1 lb this morning! Not that I'm complaining, it's just hard to try to pinpoint what is not working in my diet. Am I not taking in enough calories? Am I taking in more fat than I realize? What is the deal? If I eat the same things it doesn't matter. If I eat different things it doesn't matter. ARGH! I guess I'll keep going with this and just take it as it comes. I am going to try one thing though, I am going to try to get more sleep. I have been overly tired lately and needing a nap about 2 hrs after the kids leave for school.

Later...

So today was uneventful. No real stressors to speak of. I had an apple this morning and chicken with cabbage for lunch. For dinner I had beef with tomatoes and an apple. I was going to try the "fake apple pie" thing where you just bake an apple and put cinnamon on it but the apple I chose was just too crisp of an apple to bake and make soggy so I ate it raw. I noticed that I could tell I was full sooner but my mind won out and not wasting food prevailed. I finished my apple. That was about 8 this evening and I've not been hungry at all since. I think I am going to try to get my sleep in so that I can feel rested in the morning and hopefully it will help on the weight loss. Now if I could just get my body to look like I've lost weight, that would be great. I know I've said this before but losing pounds but not changing clothing sizes sucks! I still fit into clothes the same, or so it feels. I haven't noticed any change in what I wear and no-one, not even people I haven't seen in awhile have said anything to me. Here's hoping for a brighter tomorrow.

R1 Day 23

So, just as I expected, there was no change in my weight today. I guess I should be grateful that it didn't go up. Well, today was a difficult day because we had a family function 3 hrs away and I didn't know how I was going to schedule in my eating. Strange that I have to consider that. Anyway, I had considered doing an apple day because of my no loss and because of how difficult today's events were seeming to be but I just decided to do a regular day. I had a big apple on the way there, had a chicken salad for lunch and an apple on the way home. For dinner I had beef and tomatoes and also a melba toast. I have been cooking on the GF to see if that makes a difference in the meat. Who knows. If tomorrow is a no loss or a gain I will do an apple day then.I might just be doing apple days every third day for the rest of this cycle at the rate I'm going. Apparently from what I've read, I'm not the only one who has to do that.

R 1 Day 22

This is really exasperating! I gained 0.5 lbs this morning. I am wondering if I should just hang on for the required 26 days and then go into maintenance phase, wait my time and do another round. Really? A mere 16 pounds? That's all? I guess by body is too stubborn to let go of anything. ARGH!

Later tonight...
I have given up hope. I think I am sabotaging myself but I can't seem to figure out how. There are no losses of inches and lately, no pounds either. So much for pounds and inches. I'll keep going just to finish what I started but I am not going to get my hopes up. So much for losing 30 pounds in 30 days. That would have been awesome but alas, I'll be lucky to even lose 20.

Breakfast was a giant apple. I didn't have problems getting it down this morning. No gagging to speak of. For lunch I had a chicken salad, no second fruit today. I got busy and then I figured my morning apple was big enough for 2 meals. Dinner was beef and a cucumber salad. I had trouble choking that down tonight. I don't know if it was too much ACV or if it was too much food. Regardless, it was difficult. Both lunch and dinner were cooked on the GF grill in the hopes that any fat left would be drained away. Not surprisingly, the beef produced a good amount of fluid. I don't know what kind yet. I'm going to bed even later than usual so I'm sure that won't help my numbers and I only got in about 70 oz of water today. So...sounds like today sucked! I'll be sure about tomorrow. 

R1 Day 21

My apple day came to an end today and thank goodness for that. I have never had a problem eating fruit before but I had one last apple this morning and I just about threw it up! I literally had to choke it down. It did help I guess. I am wondering if things are just sluggish on the way out because I have had almost as many BM's doing the apple day as I have the rest of the protocol. I have been having BM's about every third day and it hasn't been constipation or anything. I did lose -1.5 lbs this morning which brings me up to 16.5 lbs total in 21 days. I was really hoping to lose a pound a day or more but don't we all. This will, however, secure the fact that I will have to do a second round or just work harder to get my weight and body back down to an appropriate size. I am still at the upper end of my BMI and I would like to get it down to a manageable place that I can feel comfortable with. I don't want to go out to dinner one night and blow it all on one meal.

Fast Forward to tonight...

I have not been feeling well today. I feel a little sick to my stomach. I am hoping that it will go away and it is not a symptom of dehydration or illness. I had to babysit today so that really threw off my eating schedule. I had a late lunch of chicken and spinach soup. It was very bland today because I am trying to cut back on salt to see if that helps any. My orange mid-afternoon was a welcome change to the apple regimen that I have been on and dinner of beef with raw grape tomatoes was also very bland. I think most of my seasoning stayed in the pan. As I was eating, I wondered if my beef had too much fat in it. I got this last batch at a different store and there really isn't any visible fat but I think I did taste a piece that was fatty. Perhaps that is the reason I haven't been losing. Who knows. I just hope that tomorrow will bring a repeat of a loss. A big loss. That would be great!

R1 Day 20

So this morning I was really hopeful and then...nothing. No change in weight today. I am wondering again if I should do an apple day. I wonder if it would even make a difference today. I did eat melba toast twice yesterday because I was so hungry. Maybe I should have just drank water or tea instead. Maybe I should have taken another dose of HCG. Who knows. Today I'll skip the toast and if there is no change I'm doing an apple day tomorrow. This is getting depressing! I have essentially stayed at the same weight for the last 5 days. Screw it! I think I am doing an apple day today. I don't see where I could be retaining water unless it is in my stomach because all the usual places seem fine. I even got in all my water last night, albeit late but I got it in. I guess today we'll see how it goes. I'll skip my morning fruit and do my 6 apples. This sucks rocks!

Fast Forward to tonight...

So today was an apple day for me and as far as it went, well...eh. First of all, I have been hungry lately. Really hungry and I had run out of HCG on a weekend and could not get more until Monday. I had enough drops to last me that long but let's just say I dumped the last of the bottle out for my Monday morning dose. So it has me wondering if the HCG was a little...thin. So in preparation of my apple day, I went to the grocery store and bought the biggest apples I could find. I don't know if you've ever seen a Jonagold apple but they are huge! I'm talking mondo! I think this thing was like 4 inches in diameter. So I'm thinking, yeah...I'll have no trouble doing this apple day because it doesn't tell you how big the apples have to be in fact it encourages you to have large ones. Well, it was all I could do just to choke 2 down today and one regular size Granny Smith apple. I'm counting the Jonagolds as 2 each because there is just no other way I am going to be able to choke down another three apples by lunch tomorrow. I barely made it through the Granny Smith apple this evening four or five hours after I had finished the last apple. So I will do one in the morning and call it my six. I guess we'll see how it goes from there. Needless to say, I feel sick! My stomach feels upset and I haven't peed much today but I did have a BM. Sorry, TMI, I know. Some of the websites I went to said that there are other ways to break a plateau. One was to substitute tomatoes instead of apples. I don't know which is worse. Don't get me wrong. I like them both but I don't know if I could do this again so here's hoping that I won't have to. One site said you could do a steak day in lieu of an apple day but I think that is just for phase 3. I'm not sure. There are just so many conflicting ideas that it is hard to weed out the unnecessaries. If I don't lose a good amount tomorrow I don't know what I'll do. I did do some kettlebell exercises today for ab work and I went for a 2.5 mile walk this morning. I hope that isn't affecting my weight loss. That would be really sad. Exercise is another item that is sketchy according to my research. Some say good others not so much. I seriously need to drop 5 lbs tomorrow just to catch up. If some inches would come off that would be nice too. It makes me wonder exactly what I am losing...bone mass? Because it doesn't feel like I'm losing fat stores. It doesn't look like it either.

R1 Day 19

I really wish I could lose a pound or two instead of this half a pound crap. I guess it's better than nothing or even a gain. It seems like my weight loss has slowed but I still look the same and it is exasperating! I lost another 0.5 lbs this morning and today I'll try to continue with the water and even try to make sure I get in my second fruit just in case my body has gone into starvation mode. I guess if I look at the overall picture, it's 15 lbs in 19 days. That's better than what I've been doing I guess. Trying to look on the bright side but having a hard time.

Fast forward to evening time.

I don't know what is with me. I am having such trouble wanting to eat everything. I am happy to say that I have not cheated but I have been tempted to everyday. It probably doesn't help that I've been on Pinterest looking at food and recipes. That is a terrible thing to do while on a "diet." I am trying my best but frankly, I'm ready to be done with this whole thing. I know people say, I could do anything for a...(insert time frame here) but this is getting old. I see the scale change but I don't see any physical changes going on. I don't think anyone else does either. With 15 pounds gone you'd think that something might look different. I couldn't tell you if the drops are making me more ornery or what but they sure aren't making me entirely happy. I see all these people whose bodies have transformed and I haven't even lost an inch it seems. I don't know what to make of this. ARGH!!!

I bought a kettlebell and tried it out today. I must be doing something wrong because I tried some of the moves that I found on youtube and google and I didn't feel a thing. Maybe it's something you feel tomorrow but I don't think I even broke a sweat. Perhaps I'm doing it wrong. I'll try it again tonight and see if I can't make something hurt other than my forearms. I haven't figured out how to get it to work my abs. So far it just feels like an arm exercise. I'll just have to keep trying.

I have been really hungry today so this morning I had an orange, a melba toast, lunch was chicken and spinach soup. I had an apple and another melba toast and then finished off my day beef and raw grape tomatoes. I still have to get in my water for today. I said I was going to do better so I guess I better try to keep that promise. I'll be drinking 10 oz every 20 min or so to get it all in. That means I should get it in by 10 tonight if I am diligent. Here's to hydration!

R1 Day 18

This morning I had a loss of 1 lb. Thank goodness! I was beginning to get depressed. Hopefully tomorrow will bring better news. As for today, I had an orange this morning, chicken salad for lunch, and beef with asparagus for dinner. I missed my second fruit again. I hope that doesn't hurt me. I haven't been keeping total on my calories so who knows. I have been trying all day to drink water. If I am correct, as of this moment I have drunk probably around 70-80 oz of water. I have about 20 oz more to go at least. I have been pretty busy all day today trying to get my house in order so tonight after a day of painting, my legs, ankles, and hands are swollen even though I have tried to drink water. This may mean that I should drink more than just 100 oz today if that is the case. I will try to do it before I go to bed but I don't know how much longer I am going to last. I am pretty tired as it is right now.

I know I keep saying that I am going to start an exercise regime but it has yet to happen. I am regretting it already. I keep wondering how I could have lost any weight at all if I still look the same and I still fit in my clothes the same. I just don't get it. I keep thinking that I should have at least shrunk enough that my clothes fit better. They do not. If anything at all, I think, though it may just be in my head, that my muffin top has reduced but when I measure myself it is all the same. Speaking of which, I had no loss today. I am not totally sure that I am measuring myself correctly though. Ah, well. Here's hoping for a better tomorrow.

R1 Day 17 cont'd

So, the end of another day comes and I didn't do what I set out to do. I have only drank about 46 oz I think so far and unless I finish off my water bottle tonight I won't have gotten in enough water...again. Then again, even if I do drink it all I don't think it is enough. That is sad. I guess that has been my failure for the most part of this protocol. I have weighed my meat but not counted calories for the veggies. That could have hurt me, too. I don't know. Nothing seems to be going right for me right now so I guess I'll keep adjusting to see what I can do.

Breakfast was late but it was an apple. Lunch came in with a chicken salad, dinner was finished off with beef and tomatoes. I just wasn't feeling up to really cooking so the grape tomatoes really fit the bill. I somehow skipped my second fruit for the day. I hope it doesn't hurt me tomorrow during weigh in.

Word to the wise, don't try out a new recipe that doesn't fit in with the protocol because you won't be able to taste it to find out if it is good or not. I did that and I have to just take my kids word for how it tastes. Hmmm. Oh well.

R1 Day 17

Well, it happened just as I said it would. I gained 0.5 lbs this morning. I think it is due to retaining water because I am dehydrated. I guess I'll have to spend the day hydrating. I think I am also going to stay home instead of having dinner with my friend. I feel bad but I really don't want to sabotage myself any further. I have only 13 or so days left and I don't want to spend that time trying to make up for things. So I begin my day behind again and am trying to catch up. Fingers crossed.

R1 Day 16 cont'd

So this day was probably a bust as I did not get enough water in me today. I started out the day at home and finished it helping a friend paint her son's bedroom. I did not cheat as far as food goes but I am probably retaining water. No good! And tomorrow will probably bite me in the butt too because we were invited to a friend's house for dinner and I accepted. Talk about sabotage!

So this morning I had an orange, chicken with cabbage for lunch, and apple for a snack, beef with grape tomatoes for dinner. Like I said, no where even close to enough water and I have a headache now. I don't know if it is from the paint fumes, the positioning of my body while I painted or dehydration. I suppose it could be any combination of them all. Well, maybe I'll rescind my acceptance for dinner until I am done with this protocol so that I don't set myself up for failure.

R1 Day 16

Well, I don't know what to make of this morning. I weighed in the same but if I measured correctly I lost 1.75 inches off my body. These were not all in the same place but if it's correct, I'll take it. I am having trouble registering that the scale is going down but I look the same. I don't feel "thinner" by any means. I suppose this is how I got this fat. All because I didn't realize it. Maybe if I had a more precise scale then I would know if I actually had a loss or a gain by oz instead of half pounds. I just really didn't want  to go buy a new scale because I was hoping to do this as cheaply as possible. Other than the food, I've only had to purchase the drops and now a measuring tape. I do feel one difference, I don't feel as swollen or bloated as I have been before. I really hope there is a marked difference at the end of this phase. Hopefully I will start some exercises today. I want to buy some kettlebells to start me off.

R1 Day 15 cont'd

I have been lucky so far to not have a lot of saboteurs during this time. I haven't been tempted nearly as much as I could have been. On the other hand, I haven't been cooking very well for the fam either. It's kind of been a "fend for yourselves" kind of time for me. I think that is why I have never dieted before. There is something about having to cook two meals everyday that just doesn't appeal to me. What can I say? So here I am at the end of day 15 counting down my time left in phase 2 and thinking to myself that if I average half a pound a day that I will only lose 7 more pounds this round which would put me at about 21 pounds lost in a month. I was kind of hoping to at least lose...well, to be honest, 30...but I know that's not going to happen so I had resigned myself to at least 25 this round. Here's hoping that I can make it happen. If that does, I will be left with only 10-15 lbs left to lose either by another round or by exercise. I think if I can get down the full 25 and maintain it, I will try to lose the last 10-15 by exercise and diet instead of doing another round. That way I can be toned and strong instead of thin and flabby. Even if the weight doesn't come off as long as the inches come off I'll be happy.

To see if I could boost my morale, I decided to measure myself to have tangible evidence that something is going on here and it isn't all just in my head. That was a double edged sword. I hadn't realized what the numbers were for me. It's really kind of sad to see how I've let myself go and not realized. How could I not have? Anyway, I'll measure again tomorrow to see if there is any change. I don't expect much but I'm hoping.

As for my meals today, I had an orange for breakfast, chicken with half a cucumber for lunch, an apple for a snack, and beef "soup" with grape tomatoes. I call it soup because I just made broth out of the meat and ate that as is with a little bit of salt.

I prepped my meat again tonight to make sure I had enough of everything on hand for phase 2 but I got some meat from a place I don't normally buy beef and there was a lot of fat on it so I opted not to use that cut. So much for that. I guess it'll just be dinner for the fam. Fingers crossed for tomorrow's loss!

R1 Day 15

I am about half way through the protocol now. I can't say I love it because with it being my first real "diet" ever, I have nothing to which I can compare. For me, I can't seem to lose the weight fast enough and being on this protocol I expect to lose it faster. When I am just exercising and eating right I don't have much expectation of anything so this is kind of hard in that respect. On the lighter side of things, I lost another 0.5 lbs this morning so I am up to 14 lbs lost now since my highest load day weight. I don't think I am going to make my goal this round and therefore will probably have to do another round which kind of sucks but it is what it is. I think I am going to try to incorporate some weight training into my schedule to see if I can tone up while I'm doing this.

R1 Day 14 cont'd

Another day down let's hope it's another pound down tomorrow too. That would be good. It'd be even better if it was a few pounds down but I know that's not going to happen. I'll be lucky if I lose anything at all since I know I'm dehydrated. I had an orange this morning for breakfast and chicken with cucumbers for lunch, I had an apple for a snack, and then a really late dinner of beef and onions. I wonder if the timing of my meals has anything to do with weight loss. I don't know. I tried to do a regular schedule but it doesn't seem to do anything. The times that I eat at weird times, as in a long time in between meals, I find that I do lose. I had lunch around 1 today, had an apple around 3:30 or so and then I didn't eat until around 9:30 after I got home. I have been a little dizzy today. I don't quite know what that's about. I have heard of some people passing out but I don't think that will happen. At least I hope it doesn't. I have been getting dizzy when I stand up. I don't know if I am just standing up too fast or what but it's rather irritating. I haven't been going to bed at a good time lately and tonight will be no different. I have a big day of cleaning tomorrow and I would frankly rather just sit on my butt and do nothing but I can't even do that because of the kids. They will be keeping me going all day long. I need a nap and a break. If I can have a good loss tomorrow maybe my day won't be so bad. Fingers crossed!

R1 Day 14

Last night I replaced the batteries in my scale and gratefully this morning it was kind to me. I had a loss of 1.5 lbs. Yay! These fluctuations in loss are really killing me. I think I've only had a loss of one pound back to back once throughout this whole trial. And I have had a gain or stall every third day or even every other day. Very depressing. I am still on my first bottle and have about a quarter to a third left so I may just try to go to the end of this bottle and call it rather than have one or two doses on a new bottle. I will probably get another one for the future to finish off and get to my goal weight. At the rate I am going I'll be lucky to make it another ten pounds. I know it's petty but I was really hoping to do a pound a day because then I could have been at my goal weight within one round. Patience. Patience. I have to remind myself but frankly, it isn't helping.

R1 Day 13 cont'd

So my day was lazy again. I didn't watch tv today but I didn't get done what I wanted. Instead I went grocery shopping an did some things with the kids. I have it in my mind that I will make some muffins or something for the kids but I haven't done it yet. Thing 3 was ornery this morning by 9 and fell asleep around 9:30. Too bad I was on my way home at that time.

I haven't been having much in the way of hunger pangs but as I take these drops I wonder if they really make that much of a difference. I don't think I am going to try to figure it out now, I am supposing that I'll find out during the transition from phase 2 to phase 3 when I go off the drops but don't start regular eating yet. I know everyone's bodies react differently. I'm just curious to see how mine will react.

So, to finish out my day, I had chicken salad again for lunch. I know it seems really redundant and I may be shooting myself in the foot by having the same vegetable but I bought a lot of lettuce and I'm trying to use it up before it goes bad. For dinner I had beef with a roma tomato and an apple in between meals. I ate probably 5 hours ago and I'm not hungry. I haven't really been keeping track of my calories either so that may be affecting my weight loss. I have pre-weighed out my meat but that is all. Everything else I just kind of try not to eat too much. I might be eating too much in the way of leafy greens because I tend to load up on those. I also need to cut my salt intake so I didn't salt my tomato today. It was also a smaller tomato as the last few were the slicing kind you put on burgers.

I am curious to know if I'll lose the taste for any food after this. Over a month without certain foods may make them taste funny to me or something. I guess I'll find out.

I bought a new battery for my scale and when I weighed myself this evening I still weighed the same as I did this morning. I don't know if that is a good thing or not. I guess that remains to be seen.

R1 Day 13

Today is not starting out well. I still have a headache. Albeit not as bad as I went to bed with but there nonetheless. My weigh in this morning resulted in no loss but no gain either. However that could be iffy because apparently I need a new battery in my scale which I forgot to buy at the store this morning when I went with a very ornery child and I spent too much. So now I have to wait until the other kids get home to go get a battery. I am afraid that it might say something different when I replace the battery and not in a good way. I had half a grapefruit this morning and lots of cravings for sugar to go with that. I find it odd because I'm usually not one for sweets but I guess I have been lately. Maybe it's all the sugar that hides in my food that I am used to and don't realize. I think the biggest thing for me is seeing certain things around and knowing I can't have it. Feels like the grass is greener on the other side but then I have to keep telling myself that I am not going to be fat anymore but if I do this then I will be fat. ARGH! Now I know why I've never been on a diet before. It sucks! Though I am not hungry, I have major cravings for things I can't have. Or, shouldn't have. Whatever the case may be. Mantra for the day...drink, drink, drink!

R1 Day 12 cont'd

It's the end of the day and of course I didn't exercise. I am embarrassed to say that I watched tv most of the day just because a show that I wanted to see was playing online and it's availability ends tonight. I know, watching my stories. But somethings just hook you and I don't have any idea as to when I would next be able to watch this show. I barely finished and it's way past my bedtime. I have a headache pretty bad but I'm still convinced it's due to my back being out. I thought I popped it back into place this morning but I guess I was wrong. I hope that going to sleep will help it to stop.

As for my meals today, I opted for half a grapefruit this morning, chicken and spinach soup for lunch, an apple and then beef salad for dinner. I've been bad about water most of the day so I've spent this afternoon and this evening trying to "catch up." I am once again hoping for a loss tomorrow. A big loss if possible. I read in "pounds and inches" that women take longer to lose because of how we lose and retain water. I really hope that won't be the case the entire time. I still have another 17 days or so and I don't want to only lose 10 lbs. I think that might depress me. I am trying to remain optimistic but I guess I am a cynic at heart. I shouldn't complain, I know. I just hope all goes well and stays that way. I don't want to do all this work and then sabotage myself. I have been having mega sugar cravings and I have super smell all of a sudden. Here's hoping tomorrow will be great.

R1 Day 12

This morning I weighed in at -1 lb. Good thing, too because I was beginning to think I was going to have to do an apple day. I know I keep jumping to that conclusion but I think this is all a mental game with me. I have heard so many people who lost so much weight that I think I should be able to do that too and I'm not. I feel like I am going so slow. I know in the grand scheme of things that is not the case as this is my lowest weight in years but that's where I'm at.

I am not going walking this morning because with how the wind is blowing outside I'll be lucky to have my house stay put. I could be visiting Oz here shortly. The last time I tried to run in this weather the wind kept blowing up my nose and I couldn't breathe. So I may try to do something else like ab work or yoga along with another day of cleaning. I can't say whether or not the exercise helped yesterday but it doesn't seem like it hurt.

R1 Day 11 cont'd

Today since I got out and walked for over an hour I seemed to have some energy so I have been cleaning all day. My hands haven't felt like they are swollen but when I got in the shower this evening after cleaning my bathroom, I could tell my ankles were a little swollen and I was a pound heavier than this morning. That, however, could just be fluctuations throughout the day.  Only tomorrow will tell.

To continue on my food diary for the day, lunch was a chicken salad. I think I mentioned that. I had an apple mid-afternoon and "Teriyaki" beef with onions for dinner. I haven't really been hungry, just having cravings because other people are eating things that I can't. I have been trying to drink all day to make up for the past few days and I think I am doing ok.

R1 Day 11

I'm trying to be optimistic but I only lost 0.5 lbs this morning. It's kind of sad considering the fact that I gained a pound yesterday. I guess I was really hoping that I would make up for it today but I didn't. I went walking this morning so we'll see what effect that has tomorrow.

Breakfast was an orange this morning. I was feeling a little too hungry to just have half a grapefruit but I didn't want to eat the same fruit again just in case that is another factor in slowing down the process. For lunch I had a chicken salad but this time instead of onion powder, I put dried basil for my seasoning. I have been having cravings because my sweet littlest one is eating the only chocolate that I like and now that is all I smell.

R1 Day 10 cont'd

My day was all askew and things did not go well for me I think. I took my drops at good times but I think I ate at bad times. I took my drops this morning and then half an hour later had an apple. I had lunch of chicken and asparagus around 11:30 and then took my drops around 12:30. I went to church and didn't drink at all during then came home and had another apple. I took my drops again around 5 ish then made the fam dinner and then my own dinner of a beef salad. I have been trying to hydrate ever since but I think I have maybe got in 80 oz today and that may be generous. I don't want to have another gain day but right now I think that is where I am headed. It probably doesn't help that I probably consumed too much salt yesterday as I ate dinner and salted each and every slice of tomato I ate. That likely put me over the top on sodium consumption for the day. Sabotaging myself is not a new thing. Well, I hope it all clears up tomorrow or I may be doing an apple day here soon. I need to get walking again and if tomorrow is as nice as it was today then I should be out in the morning. Fingers crossed!

I am still having headaches but I really do think they are spinal as I know my neck and back are out but they just will not adjust themselves back no matter what I do. I spent about 15 minutes lying on the floor trying to maneuver my back into alignment to no avail. Sigh, I hope this clears itself up...soon...now.

R1 Day 10

Epic Fail! I think the dehydration finally caught up with me because this morning I woke up with swollen fingers and toes. I got up to weigh myself and I had gained a pound! I haven't eaten anything outside of the protocol and have been taking my drops. I wonder if it is just the odd times that I take it or the spaces in between my meals or what. I don't feel at all like I have been starving myself. If anything, I almost feel like I am eating all the time but not like I used to. Before it was me eating because I was bored. Now it is me eating because it's time to eat. When it comes to breakfast, however, sometimes I don't eat until I feel like eating so it could be a few hours after I wake up before I eat. That puts lunch off sometimes too and then dinner, too. I ate nothing out of the ordinary so unless there is another gain tomorrow, I am going to assume that this is all due to being dehydrated. Then again, I could have eaten too much spinach yesterday at lunch. I did have quite a bit. Hopefully this will all just go away and I'll be back on track to losing. I am going to drink, drink, drink today in the hopes that it flushes things out. And tomorrow I will be praying for a 2 pound loss to catch me up. That would be great. On a lighter note, I haven't had a problem having a BM since I took those herbs the other day. I only took them once but I think what it really was, was my body getting used to the changes in diet because I was actually never constipated. I just hadn't had a BM in a few days and that is unlike me. So things are staying pretty regular thus far. Hopefully that was a one time deal. I hope things get better from here on out. Fingers crossed!

R1 Day 9 cont'd

Today was weird again for me. I did not get enough water in again. I probably only got in about 50-60 oz today but that is just a guess. I did have soup for lunch so I am counting that because I always make my own broth. I very rarely even buy stock because it just goes bad. This morning I had an apple, chicken soup for lunch, and beef with a tomato again for dinner with an apple for a mid afternoon snack. I wasn't really hungry today but I ate anyway. I really just felt blah today. I am a little dizzy but I am thinking that is due to being dehydrated so I plan on hydrating myself tomorrow to see if it alleviates the dizziness. Today was the first time that I went to someone's house during this protocol and as I am not really telling people that I am doing HCG just so I won't have to endure the explanations and what not, I think I did okay eating at someone else's house. I made my soup there which was kind of awkward to make my own food and not offer to share it or make enough for everyone which is customary for me. I just tried to deal with it though. I'm not trying to be selfish, I'm just trying to get the proper amount of protein and I had only brought what I weighed with me. I really hope that tomorrow will be another loss. Here's hoping. I'm going to try and get some sleep to see if that makes a difference.

R1 Day 9

I am down another pound today. This is really exciting. I can understand why so many people try fad diets. I spent months training for a half marathon and really didn't lose any weight. People commented that I looked slimmer but that didn't last long so we'll see how things go with this. I really don't want to put any of the weight back on if I am going to bother doing this so I am going to try to maintain the loss if not continue on with it.

I have been doing really well with my food. I haven't cheated at all unless you count the fact that I have to use lotion on my hands once in a while. But last night I had a dream that I was eating some sort of candy, like gummi life savers and mid way I realized, crap! I just screwed myself! I guess it's fears presenting themselves in my dreams. Who knew.

I have lost a total of 11.5 pounds now since my highest weight during load days. This is awesome! I am visiting family today and I haven't told anyone really except The Man that I am on a diet so this will be interesting. In fact, this is the first "diet" I have ever been on in my life. I think this may be weird! I hope it's not awkward.

R1 Day 8 Food

Today has been a busy day so my schedule has been off for drops and meals. This morning I had an apple and then for lunch I had chicken salad, for dinner I had a late dinner as we didn't get home until almost eight so I was taking my drops then and I had beef with a tomato. Oh, I had another apple mid afternoon.

I know my diet seems pretty redundant but I don't care much. I am not one of those people who has to have a different meal every meal. I guess that comes from eating a lot of leftovers growing up.

I am a bit dehydrated today so I hope that doesn't affect weigh in.

R1 Day 8

Success! This morning's weigh in came down with a loss of 1 lb. I know in the grand scheme of things 1 lb isn't much but it all adds up and it makes me feel like I'm doing something right finally. If I can manage to continue with losing a pound a day then by the time I am done with round 1 I could be pretty close to my goal weight. I will technically be within a good BMI range but I want to give myself a little lee way so if something happens I won't be a total loss. As for things other than weight, I think, mind you, think that I may have lost some inches around my waist. Well, not really some, more like one but I'll take it. I don't know if it is all in my head but I feel like there is less spillage when I put on pants and they fit better. The other day I also felt like my face looked thinner which is huge for me because I have a big face. Though, it could have just been how I wore my hair and the fact that I'm getting old. Who knows. Maybe if I could get my butt out into this cold weather that we're having and start walking again then perhaps I could lose even more. I don't know. What I do know is that I am going to try to stick with what is working for me. And if it stops working, I'll change it up.

I have been having cravings for things lately. I think more than anything else that it is really just because I can't have it. I don't think I would crave it as much if I could have it. There have just been a few things that I really wanted to eat but thankfully did not. I don't eat other people's baked goods and often not that of a store either but I do eat my own. I made cookies the other day for the fam and it is all that I can do to not eat them. Good thing they are gone now.

Day 7 food

During breakfast I had decided that I would do beef/chicken every day so that I can somewhat vary my protein. So,this morning I had half a grapefruit which always leaves me wanting. For lunch I had a chicken salad and for dinner I had beef and onions with an orange mid-afternoon. I skipped the melba toast just in case. I did read, however, that I had been doing the toast wrong. Apparently you are allowed two per day but not at the same time. Am I wrong? I am hoping that this change in my diet will let me continue to lose tomorrow morning and that I won't be stagnant. I have heard so many good things about this diet that I think I have sabotaged myself by expecting to lose a pound every day. I know that is not the case, especially with women and because I am not obese but still, losing a pound a day would truly be incentive to keep going. If I can keep going for the duration of this program I hope to be able to keep everything off. So far I have still not really exercised but today I have been cleaning and doing laundry which some days feels like a huge workout. I have been taking it easy but as I write I am a bit dizzy. Not due to lack of food intake but because that is what I do. I can lay down and get dizzy. What I could really use right now is a massage! Other than that, considering the fact that I only put lotion on my face and I only apply it on my hands when my they are getting really dry, my skin on my face is pretty smooth and not dried out like it was the first day or so.Yay! Maybe I might actually be hydrated.

R1 Day 7

After a disappointing weigh in yesterday, I was ready to do an apple day and I almost did but I thought I would give it another day since it was only one day. So this morning's weigh in I lost 2 lbs! Yay! I am thinking what is happening is that I have been eating chicken most every day and it says to vary your meat. I haven't eaten a lot of beef because I prefer chicken and beef tends to make me feel sluggish and tired. I don't even know where to buy veal and I can't/don't eat seafood so that kind of limits me. I have noticed, however, that I don't lose much weight when I just eat the chicken but the two days that I ate beef for one of my meals I had a good weight loss. So now I think that instead of having beef once a week I will up it to every third meal discounting breakfast of course. We'll see what that does and if that doesn't work I'll do one beef and one chicken per day. On second thought, maybe I'll just do one beef, one chicken per day so that I don't slow anything down. I really want to make the most out of my time doing this so that it sticks most of all, but also so that I don't have to do it again. Not that it's hard but I prefer to just do portion control and watch what I eat. If I can get down to a good weight for me and keep it there for awhile, hopefully my body will remember that that is where it is supposed to be and not let myself gain weight again. Fingers crossed! I am down 9.5 lbs so far but 6 of that was just after the load so by day 7 of phase 2 I have only lost 3.5 lbs. That is really sad! I would have thought that I would be further along by now but I guess I'll just take solace in the total weight loss instead of dividing it up into when I lost it. Wish me luck!