Starting over at rock bottom

I haven't been doing much of anything as of late. Since my last post I have run a half marathon successfully in 2 hrs 23 minutes. It was a great accomplishment for me. I really thought I'd never be able to do it. I signed up for a marathon relay race this May. In it I could run anywhere from 3 miles up to 13 miles. We'll see as it gets closer. I never really lost any weight while training for the half marathon. This fact alone really upset me. Hard training for at least 4 months, drinking water more than I would normally, and probably eating better and I feel like nothing much happened. I suppose some people said that I looked like I had lost weight but I don't think I had. I have always said that I could weigh 200 pounds as long as I could fit into a size 2. I was wrong. As I will never be a size 2 nor have I ever been a size 2 I could definitely not ever weigh 200 pounds and this proves it. So here I am, feeling like I have hit rock bottom. I probably haven't but it feels like it. I have been considering quick fixes more frequently and my self-esteem has suffered. I am not usually one who has low self-esteem, I'm usually just "ok" with myself. But after hearing so much about this "diet" from my walking buddies I succumbed to the pressure. I was weak! What can I say? Both of them lost weight successfully and kept it off. So...I guess I am trying it. HCG...even the name of it raises questions. Pregnancy has never agreed with me and I can't imagine putting more "hormones" into my body. I bought the homeopathic drops so we'll see how I do. From the research that I have done it seems that I take anywhere from 6-15 drops 3-6 times a day depending on my appetite cravings. I am starting out taking the drops at 3:40 in the afternoon today because I am random like that. Most people I'm sure, start first thing in the morning but I got a wild hair this afternoon after assessing all that I had eaten today. And then it didn't help that the Man stopped for a breakfast burrito and so I figured, what could it hurt to make the most of my gluttony. So I got home and took the drops. From what I gather, you take the drops under your tongues and hold them there for 10 minutes and then swallow. Considering the fact that you can't swallow for 10 minutes there was a lot of spit. After swallowing my 10 drops, (which kind of burned as my drops contain 25% alcohol) I waited my 30 minutes and ate my very fatty breakfast burrito. Nothing says fat like bacon, potatoes, and eggs wrapped up in a tortilla with grease showing through. MMMmmmm. Sounds good doesn't it? Frankly, I think I'll be paying for it tonight or tomorrow. I don't think it will take long. It is 5:55 as I write and so far I have had one symptom. I assume it is a symptom from the drops as I didn't have one before but I started to get a headache so I drank some water. This seems to have alleviated it a bit. I think this may be helpful as to remind me that I need to drink. That is a big problem for me. I haven't weighed myself today as it is so late in the day but I'll do it in the morning. Thing 3 has been pretty sick this past week or so and because of that, I haven't been out walking in over a week. I am tired but that is probably due to lack of sleep. I'll have to work on that too. I really want this to work and I want to give it my all so I guess no late nights on pinterest. That site is seriously addicting. It's a good thing it isn't near a big holiday where I bake. Not because I'd eat it all but because I spent probably 30 hrs researching what to give my neighbors for Christmas. I'm silly like that.

So, I started my load day drops at 3:40 I'll probably take my drops again at 9:00 tonight and then in the morning around 7:30 and from then on I'll do 7:30-12:30-5:30 just for continuity. I hope this all works out.

I'm off to drink some more water to see if I can get this headache to go away completely.