Struggles!

This morning it snowed. That was bad enough but I decided to carry Thing 3 in my front pack with all the blankets to keep the little one warm. I thought it was cold outside so I wore sweatpants and a fleece shirt and a sweat jacket. I thought I would be fine. So the snow, plus a cold, strong wind, plus 20 or so extra pounds on my person, plus my pants falling down, plus sore feet and knees adds up to one slow, crappy workout. I had to convince myself that I could keep going as both my workout companions pooped out on me today. The fleece shirt made me sweat so much that I fogged up my ipod. Seriously, who does that? Me, apparently. The constant shifting of the little one and stopping to hike up my pants was really grating on my nerves this morning. I heard myself chanting my memory chant that lets me recall what lap I am on. I think it is harder to go in laps than it is to go distance because the scenery never changes and it feels like you've gone nowhere. Mostly because you haven't. I dislike doing laps but when the weather is crappy I hate to go too far from home just in case it gets worse. The wind was enough to make me want to quit but then I kept thinking about last week and how hard it was for me to make up the miles. I came out okay last week with two over my 15 quota but it was difficult trying to get it all in. So, I really don't want a repeat. I thought about that as I walked, though slow as it was. I thought, "I can get in at least one mile and then I'll stop." The more I thought about it, I thought I could make it two miles as Thing 3 fell asleep. So I thought some more. If I go just two more laps then I can get in three miles. I hadn't even gone two miles before I reasoned with myself again that I should make it at least ten laps today. And so I did. I know the neighbors who saw me thought I was crazy for taking Thing 3 out in the weather but for me it is a no brainer. I can keep my little one warm and I did. I checked Thing 3's nose and cheeks and they were barely lukewarm. Not even cold! So I don't feel bad about taking my little one out tomorrow though I hope that I don't have to. Not because of the weather but because I think I might be able to get in a better workout by myself since I'll likely be going by myself. I predict that my walking companion will not be joining me tomorrow. That means that I'll have to pick myself up and hit the road. This time I'll be the one listening to my ipod so as not to get caught up in my doubtful thoughts. I think that is a big deterrent for me. If I can hear myself doubting that I can go any further than I won't so I will have to drown out that nasty voice and fill the void.

I had a silly moment this morning. I seriously jumped for joy in the bathroom this morning after my weigh in. I lost another pound even with all the junk I have been eating. I think the exercise coupled with my conscious eating decisions has really made a difference. Slow though it may be, it is a difference. I told The Man that I lost another pound and he replied, "I can lose a pound just by taking a poop!" Well dear, I cannot. My fat clings to my frame and doesn't want to leave. It's like that annoying relative that just doesn't know when to leave. Well, eviction notices are coming daily! Pound number 6 just got evicted and I'm not taking new renters and squatters will not be tolerated! Next notice goes to pound number 7 and possibly 8. Hopefully this week. So number 7 and number 8...pack your saddlebags. There is no love left in these handles.